(Diary) You're Not Invisible
Welcome to my diary. These are entires I wrote during my own pregnancy. What youâre about to read is unfiltered, unedited, and perhaps a bit uncanny. But these are my raw feelings written in real-time. Everyoneâs perspective and journey is different. This is mine.
Dear friend,
Jen Glantz here.
I just hit the 6-week mark of being a mom.
I feel like I have enough stories about this adventure to fill an entire series of books.
Mostly about lessons learned. Mini mistakes. Moments of feeling like the biggest failure. Other moments when I felt like mom of the year.
Itâs all too much to summarize.
Which is why the question of: How is everything?
Can just feel impossible to answer.
Sharing more about why that is below.
Ps. Know someone who would enjoy reading this?
Some quick things I loved this week:
â¤ď¸ Products that I fell in love with this week:
I splurged and bought the baby this play gym. Itâs a lot of fun and thereâs so many things you can do with the mat as the baby grows. Plus, somehow, it fits okay in our tiny 1-bedroom apartmentâŚfor now.
A classic book Iâve been reading the baby 3-4x this week.
I bought more of their pumping bras and nipple cream - my favorite postpartum brand so far.
â¤ď¸Iâve been spending time spilling my thoughts on TikTok. Watch some of that fun stuff right here!
Youâre Not InvisibleâŚBut it Might Feel That Way
As a new mom, you canât help but feel invisible.
Nobody but you sees, feels, or fully understands what youâre going through.
I was walking yesterday and a guy behind me screamed: âCould you walk any slower?â
And I wanted to scream back: âExcuse me sir, but I just had a baby double the size of your head a week ago.â
But how would he know?
I donât look pregnant.
I donât have a bumper sticker on my back that says: approach with caution, Iâm a new mom.
But sometimes I wish I did.
New moms experience things quietly.
Hormones fluctuating, emotions pounding, physical recovery happening underneath clothing or period pads, your body has gone through so many changes you canât keep track.
Every single thing in your life is different now. Nothing is the same. And it happened so fast.
Itâs hard when people ask you how youâre doing, because thereâs no good answer.
Telling them the truth, makes you sound negative. It unloads TMI and they arenât always prepared for that. They donât know how to respond to âItâs been a messâ they just know how to respond to âItâs been so beautiful.â
If youâre postpartum, youâre not invisible. Youâre just seeing things different right now, and people are making the mistake of seeing you the same.
Take care of yourself, when you can, how you can, and with whomever you can let inside your life right now to help.
I'm a big fan of responding to people with honesty and probably a little more info than they wanted. If you don't actually care how I'm doing, don't ask. Otherwise you're going to get the full answer. This week, my answers involve pink eye because kids are germ factories and don't realize you shouldn't sneeze in mommy's face. I also like to think that by being open about the messy parts, I'm helping future parents feel more comfortable opening up about their struggles. Sometimes life is wonderful and almost magical, but more often it's messy and chaotic and stressful. And all of that is okay.